Seeing Things: a story in 60 seconds

"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?" --- Miguel de Cervantes

It was a peachy weekday afternoon, and a woman was going to meet an old friend for lunch. Although she typically cabbed everywhere, the warm breeze and easy sun guilted her into walking the dozen or so blocks to the restaurant.

On the way there, her friend called.

“I’m going to be twenty minutes late,” she apologized without a sprinkle of sincerity.

Peeved, the woman had no choice but to change course. She found a charming little park a few streets away and sat on an empty bench, observing a group of chickadees picking at the remnants of a hotdog bun.

A few moments later, a man sat on the bench next to her. She gave a dismissive sniff and shifted away from him. Then, all of a sudden, she heard a sharp clap.

She scooched over.

A minute later, there was another succession of claps.

“Excuse me,” she snipped. “Do you mind not clapping like that? It startles me.”

The man appeared confused. “Clapping?”

She nodded. “That’s what you’re doing, aren’t you?”

With a grin, the man leaned back against the bench and shook his head. “I wish, sweetheart. But I haven’t had anything to clap about in three decades. Ever since I got bit…”

The woman didn’t want to admit it, but the cryptic remarks piqued her curiosity.

“Bit by what?” she finally asked. “A spider?”

He shook his head. “No, not a spider…”

“A dog?”

The man laughed. “I don’t think you’ll ever guess…”

Flustered, the woman stood up and turned to leave. “Fine,” she huffed. “Well, have a good day.”

“—Do you really want to know?”

She stopped and glanced down the bridge of her nose at the man. “Honestly, I don’t care much at this point.”

“Well, that’s not very wise.”

“Oh? And why not?”

“Because they’ll bite you, too.”

“You’re just trying to frighten me,” the woman sputtered.

“If only that were the case…”

Abruptly, the man smacked his hands together.

“Stop that!” she shouted.

“Got it!”

“Got what?”

“That damn pixie that’s been fluttering around us. You’re in big trouble if one bites you. They’ve got this toxic venom that gets into your bloodstream…and after a while, well, the madness takes hold.”

The woman finally understood the situation. “Yes, right. Well, I’ve got to be going. It was nice meeting you, and good luck with the pix—”

She was about to leave when she heard a voice shouting from across the park.

“Look who it is!” The woman’s friend called out, hurrying over. “Ugh. So sorry for being late, but I’m happy you found a cute waiting spot.”

“Yes, well, it’s not as cute as you might think,” she muttered, nodding to her left. “This guy has been pestering me the whole time…”

Her friend looked concerned and whispered back. “What guy?”

“The one right over here—” the woman said, pointing at the empty bench beside her. 

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